I'm always here!

it'll soon be 3 months after we've  broke up. how we meet was really a funny experience. i believe thet he was heaven sent, my guardian angel that was there to guide me along in life. is it weird to say that i feel in love with this guy just by merely chatting through fb and phone? actually, i'd couple with him twice time. we start the relationship in January and broke up in February. after we've broke up, we become friend. past 2 months, we return back to each other. i've never talked to him face to face before until we got together. 7th May 2011 is the first time we hung out. i spent my whole day messaging him. and i looked forward to every night because it'd be the time that he'd call and we talk till it was past midnight.


he was shy and was unwilling to say his feelings out to me directly. but he showed his feelings through his actions. how he took note of my feelings, the way that i spoke and the way i sounded through our text messages was remarkable and...stunning. it's like he could see right through me to the deepest of my heart and he understood how i felt without me saying a word. i remember everything since the day we were together till the day that things ended between us. i'll never forget how his hands hold my hands. how his smile make me smile. i remember begging him to stay after each time he left. sounds stupid but i never regretted it, because i'm happy of the fact that i once loved somebody this much, and to me, he was a very very very special person in my heart. it has been nearly 4 months now, and i've been single and not think too much about guy. why? is loving someone that difficult? or is it because i don't have the ability to love anymore? it sucks even more when i realize that i compare every guy that has interest in me to him, to the very fact that they're not him. and you know what the sad thing is? some of them might even be better than how he was, but i guess i'm never able to see that. because i'm afraid to fall in love again? or is it because i haven't really gotten over him? but i really do hope that he's doing well.


'hey you. be happy with life at Marudi no matter where you are okay. remember if you ever need someone to talk, you can always count on me. dont know if you still remember me, but know that i'm always here'


-N-